Wednesday, January 25, 2006 

Meme Of Four (Clyde Version)

4 jobs you've had in your life:
Video Store Assistant (in charge of the illegal porn)
Fa Artist + visualizer + designer + account exec + helper(buy food & cigg for boss) + GM (general messenger)
Catering waiter
Printer salesman

4 movies you could watch over and over:
Any Stephen Chow movies
Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch:
Malcom In The Middle
Sex and The City
Everybody Loves Raymond

*(These're basically what Bonnie watch..... Why not have something like" TV shows you love(d) to watch but can't"?)

4 places you've lived:
Petaling Jaya
Chicago (weekend home)
Damansara Jaya

4 places you've been on vacation to:
Hong Kong

4 places you would rather be:
Small village in northern Scotland
Small village in Northern New Zealand
Small village in Japan
Small village ...................

4 of your favorite foods:
Bak kut teh with intestine, maw, liver, kidney, brain..(anything underneath the meat)
Butter Crab
Burger King Double Whopper (Wendy's Double Burger is even better)
Foire Gras (correct spelling?)

4 websites you visit daily:

4 tagged:
(For one with a pass record of cyberspace addiction, i don't have any "cyber" friend)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 

Meme Of Four


Another one from James. Like anyone ever visit this blog.

4 jobs you've had in your life:
B&H cigarrette girl
Boutique Sales Promoter
Graphic Designer
Art Director

4 movies you could watch over and over:
Any movie with Takeshi Kaneshiro
Any movie with Ben Stiller
Any movie with Jim Carrey
Any movie with Chow Sing Chi

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch:
Malcom In The Middle
Sex and The City
Everybody Loves Raymond

4 places you've lived:
Petaling Jaya
Taman Melawati
Subang Jaya
Damansara Jaya

4 places you've been on vacation to:
Hong Kong

4 places you would rather be:
Mongkok, Hong Kong
Chatuchak, Bangkok
Thai Odessey, Tropicana
Office (skiving, of course)

4 of your favourite foods:
Salt Baked Crab
Grilled BBQ Crab
Crab cooked with Salted Duck Egg
Butter Crab
(yes, I am full of crab - pun intended!)

4 websites you visit daily:
(how’s that for self-promo huh??)

4 tagged:

  • Clyde
  • (yes, you, baldie!)
  • Kopilighter
  • (my partner in crime)
  • Always Wow

  • ....

    (gee, I just realised I don’t have 4 blogger friends. *sob*)

    Friday, January 20, 2006 

    Puzzle 2

    Q: What's that when it's full?
    A: Bonnie's tummy after half kilo of pork maw, whole packet of "mui fa gor", & 12 dozens chicken feet.


    Chuck Norris

    The wrath of Chuck Norris

    When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

    • Chuck Norris never hides, he only seeks.

    • When Chuck Norris passes Go, he collects as much as he wants.

    • Chuck Norris hates movies that have twist endings. After seeing The Village, Chuck Norris went to M. Night Shyamalan's home and kicked his ass. Then, just for fun, he took his wallet and maxed out his credit cards to order copies of his favourite movie, Sidekicks.

    • Chuck Norris eats Failure for breakfast, and shits out Success less than one hour later.

    • Chuck Norris does not obey the Law of Conservation of Energy, choosing instead to obey the Law of Distribution of Pain.

    • Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

    • Rap is what happens when artists try to sing after getting a roundhouse kick in the face from Chuck Norris.

    • The milkshake doesn't bring Chuck Norris to the yard.

    • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    • A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

    • Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

    • Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    • Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

    • The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

    • The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

    Some interesting Chuck Norris FACTS

    • Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "BOOYA".

    • If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, then you may be only seconds away from death.

    • Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own step-father.

    • Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to roundhouse his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

    • God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, but he swiftly declined, instead opting for super strength roundhouse ability.

    • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    • When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

    • Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

    • A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you grimly before unleashing a flurry of roundhouses.

    • Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Jackie Chan in a game of chess. When Norris lost in the game, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Chan in the side of the face.

    • Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful that it can be seen from outer space with the naked eye.

    • Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

    • Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.

    • Chuck Norris once burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.

    • If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

    • Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

    • Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

    • Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

    • Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

    • Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

    • Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

    • One time while sparring with a bear, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

    • Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the blue ringed octopus of Eastern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

    • Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's father.

    • Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

    • Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.

    • In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

    • Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poops them out transformed into a robot.

    31 Reasons Chuck Norris is better than you

    1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

    2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

    3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    5. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

    6. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

    7. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.

    8. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

    9. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    10. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

    11. Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."

    12. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

    13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

    14. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.

    15. In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease.

    16. Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.

    17. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.

    18. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.

    19. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

    20. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

    21. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

    22. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

    23. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

    24. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

    25. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

    26. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

    27. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

    28. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

    29. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

    30. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    31. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.


    Puzzle 1

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    Q: What’s that when it’s at home?
    A: Clyde peeping out from room window when Bonnie gets home.

    (Sfx: Aww...)

    Wednesday, January 18, 2006 

    Pieces Of SG

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    Amazing SG: tissue in every public toilet.

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    Chinatown: All hail The Pig Organ Soup King.

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    Chinatown: Selling like hotcakes.

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    Bugis Street: Fried pig intestines in soy sauce.

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    CK Tang Foodcourt: Braised big pig intestines.

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    CK Tang Foodcourt: Pig Liver in Hot Wok.

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    Newton Street: Deep Fried Baby Octopus in Sweet Sauce.

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    Newton Street: Grilled Mantis Prawns. One piece was not fresh and the hawker replaced it for us. Howzzat for service? I had a bad experience in one SS2 PJ kopitiam who told me my plate of kerang was opened because it is cooked. Pigi dah! This char boh grew up on spare parts and kerangs okay!

    Tuesday, January 17, 2006 

    Singapore Party Girl

    It rained everyday, twice a day.

    The foreign currency exchange was 1:2.3.

    Massive jam every hour.

    Hoards of crowd in every corner.

    I don’t speak Mandrin, the mother language.

    Yet I love Singapore.

    It kinda reminds me of Hong Kong.

    How, you ask.

    Spare parts.

    Every hawker stall and food court I been to is not Halal. Pork and spare parts are served in abundance. Our most brilliant find is at Ngow Cheh Sui (Chinatown). The mixed pig spare part soup was lovely although congealed blood was sold out, much to my dismay. The fried pig intestines at Bugis Street foodcourt was not too bad, but I was disappointed that the peanut tong sui was sold out.

    It was brilliant, just brilliant.

    We spent our last night with a bit of S&M at a massage place next to Orchard Hotel. Clyde opted for a wussy foot reflexology wheras me being the ballsy tough cookie, went for a semi full course; foot AND back massage.

    Big, bad, bummer mistake.

    My masseur, Mr. Chong is a sifu veteran. No Thai / Indon / Sabahan chick for wa. Wa ai kuat-kuat eh. So when Mr. Chong applied his cow strength on the pressure points on the balls of my feet, I gritted my teeth kept mum like I have something to prove. I mean, I can take the pain on my foot, but it’s the knife-cutting, belly-aching, ticklish-numbing kinda pain on my back and buttocks that got me yelling blue murder. Clyde was helpful enough to barge into the room with a digi cam at hand. Men. Bah.

    Strangely, I felt lighter and relaxed after the 1-hour session.

    That sums up our 3D / 2N SG trip aka 2nd Wedding Anniversary celebration. And oh, we bought some stuff too like perfume, silver accessories, ume shu (Japanese plum wine) that cost a bomb in KL and souvenir items.

    For the first time shopping came second place, and that must be good. :)

    Tuesday, January 03, 2006 


    I am baaacck...

    New and improved! With 20% more!

    Happy 2006 everyone! What’s better to kick start the beginning of another 364 working days than the birth of a new blog? This time is for keeps, I promise! ^_^

    Firstly, a little bit about our husband - wife blog (this is a new concept, no?) ... we are both relatively young (ahem), relatively newly weds (belum 2nd anniversary pun), working in somewhat unrelated fields and lovin’ it. Well, at least I am. Heh. Plus, we are both destructive, we love violent, bloody, gory movies, hence the name of our blog. *evil grin*

    Okaaay...enough of the soppy stuff and back to business.

    We ushered in the new year at my church's Watch Night. Never thought I would do it, but there I was, with 20+ other church members at Golden Sand Baptist Resort, Port Dickson, singing my heart out from 9pm. Well, not all through the night coz I did sneak away halfway to sort out problems. Okay, okay, I was feeling a tad constipated and had to do something about it. BUT. Let’s not go into details here.

    In a nutshell, it was an interesting experience. Yes dear, the air con not working at first and shared facilities was interesting, and so was the breakfast and heavy rain.

    I tried. *pats self on back*

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