Bonnie & Clyde

I got this very young "designer" working for me.

Well, like many of the fresh grad I meet doing my clients designs, these so-called "designers" actually have actually no or very little fundamental skill and knowledge. Well the designs could be fantastic, especially if the servicing is good, but many of it can't be put into production. Merely for presentation purposes.

Ok I am a printer and if I talk about designs that cannot be printed, it might sound I have prejudice. The following is a story happen between the client and creative; not even to production stage:

"F#@k! Last approved design oledi now do f.A. suddenly say cannot approve !"

"What's up? maybe too many body text at the back side of the box while the front of the box is more of a minimalist design."

"Yeah la, Cina bek company. So much gimmick"

"Wait, before you start, did they inform you how much text will there be during briefing. If you know it will be such heavy text packaging, you souldnt be going this direction."

"Yeah....... but they didnt gimme the text! They just say it will be around 150 words. So I just did dummy text, and I did showed them. See....."

(I looked at the mockup box.)

"But the dummy text here is so few. You should have at least simulate an approxiamate space of 150 words!"

"Yeah yeah. I dont have the EXACT body text. What do you expect? You dont understand la. You people think is so simple like typing a word processing software."

(Rolled his eyes, as if the word "stupid" is stuck on my forehead.)

Actually I am glad he is not doing the old school cut and paste for typo. At the same time I am worry for him if he didnt meet someone who make him fall hard on his face, he will stuck there forever.

Well, I couldn't be bothered. I have one in my office.

Whenever I told Bonnie I had an hour long discussion/motivation/brain washing session with my designer, she told me to be easy; saying that he's still young and such. Perhaps she's been dealing a lot more than me with these kinda young chaps. She's more experienced in handling young creatives.

But I'm not complaining about their abilities or creative. It's the attitude that I have hard time understanding. I told him the company has budget, though not too big, around RM100+ per month for him to buy reference, but over 6 months our library is still almost empty besides of the few company profiles that I chucked in there initially. I just cant get it.

How can a person not take this opportunity to buy reference on the expense of the company so he can continue to improve?

Maybe Bonnie's right. Wen we were that young, we're that blur too. Letting chances slipped by. Leaving effort in vain. Spent most of our energy for none productive or even destructive activities.

Suddenly I just think of this: what would a 20 years older than me person will say when he looked at me? The way I treat my body, handle my health, effort on my work, time for my love ones..........

Maybe I really should be easy on him.

What do you do with friends who announce to the world they are unhappy but they refuse to divulge any information? It’s like, “HEY EVERYONE LISTEN UP COZ I WANT YOU TO KNOW I’M STRESSED AND DEPRESSED AND YOU WILL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT BUT DON’T ASK ME WHY COZ I DUN WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!”

WTF rite.

Here I am, astonished and helpless. Hmm. Maybe I should add untrustworthy to the list.

After reading Bonnie's last post, I cat help but start to think how God put defferent people together.

We are married for 3 years and there're some ways we are so different. Some's live are like colour televisions and some are more like a black n white. Bonnie's definitely is not the latter while I'm obviously the old boring black n white.

Her life's like a Micheal Bann Bad Boys kinda action movie; sometimes it amazed me living in the same space and time, she can just experience so much more action than me. It's not that I'm not sensitive to my surroundings, at least I don't think so. But my life is more like a Parkistan art house film that have no action, sometimes even with a dialog script as thick as Watson flyer.

I must admit she does bring a lot more spark into my life. I'm no justifying her nor my lives were not good before we've got together. Just that it is a whole new dimension to experience. For example, scene like what Bonnie describe in her previous posts would pretty unlikely to happen if I were alone. E.g. the lorong kecik incident, neighbour block the whole road to let their master reverse his car out etc.

However, it does put a smile on my face when I read this last post. I think it's funny; and Bonnie's writing is so damn good.

I am the type which Chinese would say "no fire". I think I am born with pretty hot temper, just like my dad and mom but the up bringing shape me into someone quite different. I'm very influence by Buddhism thinking since young, and now I'm a Christian. I do plastic models during freetime, a hobby that put one's patience to extreme test. Now anger which is a feeling that I put in a lot of effort to learn to control, pretty much can be suppressed very quickly. After all these years of self training, it's become an emotion seldom visits me.

It's not that I wont get angry or frustrated, just it wont stay for a long time if it does occur. I would probably just reverse my car, wait until their master's car is completely out from the house and such.

To see the world in a third person point of view is my method.

The only drawback of this attitude is: if you are only a spetator, you do not a chance to "feel". In other words, experience this colourful world.

Bonnie is the one who brought this long-forgotten experience into my life. She is not an aggressive person, but definitely she has her share of all these sparks in life, which to me, trying to live a with a heart like a monk, is already such vibrant colout of life. Mostly, I would just sit besides her enjoying the moment. They always put a smile on my face (With the only exception when she still too angry to allow me feeling happy or funny. I'll just poker face).

I think this's why God put us together. I am the one who reduce her scoldings of other cars when she drive; and she's the one who add so much more colours in my "terlalu lembik" attitude and life.

Even the name "Bonnie and Clyde" was thought by her.

Maybe one day I will really hold a gun to protect our pride (of course before that I gotta learn that our pride does really need to be protected) :-)

Thank you Bonnie

There’s a quaint little lorong kecik that leads to our home and the residents around use it a lot for convenience. It’s rather narrow, but it’s 2-way and 2 cars can easily use it at the same time on any given day.

Until yesterday nite, that is.



I was happily humming a song as I (Car B) drove home last night when I bumped into a road bully. As usual, I turned in at the lorong kecik when this apek (Car A) in a big mother Camry came from my left and tried to turn in as before I exited.



I tried to inch more to my left but there’s only no more space left. I gestured to him but he wouldn’t budge. I winded down my window and said’ “There’s no more space on my left. I can’t make way for you. Can you reverse?”

It seems that such a complicated situation like this immobilised all of Apek’s senses and he just sat in his car, deaf, mute and retarded.

I had to make a choice. If I reverse all the way out of the lorong kecik, cars that turn in will crash into mine. All Apek had to do was reverse a bit. So, how? I gestured to Apek again and he just stared at me. So I pulled my hand brakes and waited.



It must have been a good 10 minutes before Car C came along. The owner flashed his lights but none of us could move. He got down from his car and yelled, ”Eh you all want to fight go one side lah. Waffor block the road?” Then he walked closer to have a clearer view of what’s happening and I told him, ”Sorry sir. I can’t give this man any more way coz there’s no more space. I can’t move.”

Car C didn’t even look at me and then he continued yelling at Apek,”Eh, you! Just move your car lah! What’s wrong with you! You want to fight is it? Come lah! COME!”

At this point, Apek snapped to his senses. He winded down his window and started shouting incoherently. But he wasn’t man enough to get out and face Car C. Car D, E and F arrived and started honking.

Finally, Apek reversed, cursing all the way. As I drove passed him, Apek did not return my glare. Instead, it was a face-off between him and Car C instead. Apek winded up his window, locked his doors and gave Car C a menacing look. This is what separates the boys from the men lah. I figured for Apek to reverse, it would mean he had to admit he was in the wrong, which he was, no doubt about that. And that is a big thing for someone with an ego bigger that his backside.

Morale of the story? You don’t need Bonnie to disrupt the neighbourhood ‘chi’. They do a fantastic job themselves. Hehe.

We unearthed an amazing makan place yesterday. Actually, it was more me than Clyde. :D Nestled in the midst of the busy Taipan USJ area, therein lies an uncharted territory only a babi lover like me can discover.

Ok la. To be frank, I only noticed the place after making my familiar rounds at The Grey and Little Black Book boutique and guess which restaurant is sandwiched in-between?

From the outside, the orange and black signage and a name like “Meaty House” gave an impression of a meat butcher rather than a restaurant. It’s both, actually. Kinda like Mr. Ho’s and Euro Deli. Upon closer inspection, I saw posters of ‘Pork Knuckle & Sauerkraut’, ‘German Sausages’ and ‘Mexican BBQ Ribs’ pasted on the glass door. Such sheer magic words.

And so we went, a party of four which includes me, Clyde, mom and aunt.

We ordered a portion of Pork Knuckle, Mexican BBQ Ribs and my aunt opted for Grilled Dory Fish. The pork knuckle was great! Love the sauerkraut too! The ribs were ok but a tad too sweet for Clyde’s taste. Aunt had no complaints for her fish dish. The bill came up to less than RM100, which is cheap coz the pork knuckle we ate at German Haus at Jalan Alor is RM40+ compared to MH’s RM29.90.

The proprietor is also a music lover so you are treated to his melodious vocals as you eat. Hehe.

Good value-for-money for a great-tasting babi meal so do drop by if you are in the area:

Restaurant Meaty House
No. 37-G, Jalan USJ 10/1D,
UEP Subang Jaya



Crispy, tasty, piping hot Pork Knuckle


Sweet, lean, mean Mexican BBQ Ribs

"The nasi lemak you are having is always not as delicious as the roti canai that fat guy eating next table."

This is his explanation.

I got his friend;lets call him X: young, well educated, stable income, and pretty good looking. He stay in Riana Green, with his young and attractive girl friend. Pretty good life he has.

The only problem is: he's always more interested in what others have; especially woman.

While still couldn't forget his face when he talked about this girl he's having a fling with challenged him for sex marathon, he now has his eye set on another girl who's a friend of our common friend.

This friend of ours is actually pretty skeptical about sharing this girl's phone number, email address, and her friendster account with Mr X. Well at least he's kind enuf to check what's the intention of Mr X is; which is pretty obvious.

"Boobs." he told me later.

I don't know the girl; I met her once but didn't actually recall her face. However according Mr X, the shape and size is actually something he hasn't experienced. That's the reason, and the ONLY reason.

Suddenly I remember something a person told me when I was young and was foolig around. "Other people's daughter doesn't bloomed out from a flower." (a translation from cantonese)

I feel sad for woman. How would it feel when the man you believe in so much is in truth a typical man who actually sees woman not more than a pile of flesh with a pair of breast and a vagina?

"This's the nature. We are created to look for anybody with a good DNA and spread our seed. While woman, since they only have one egg at a time, they could only find a good DNA male and stick to him. Law of nature 101: all living things are looking to extend and improve their DNA so their next generation will be better." While sipping his teh tarik, he said.

I think things that have no feelings (just physical pleasure) will never understand that other people actually have.

Again, I feel sad for those woman who love their spouse whole heartedly and foolish enough to oversee what kind of person her husband is.

Clyde says I disrupt the neighbourhood harmony.

I just don’t see why would anyone need assistance when they back their car out of the garage. What my neighbours do is have their security guard / body guard hold up the whole street so they can reverse their car. Why can’t they look left and right first like everyone else? What happens when they drive in public places? How do they manage?

Strange.

When I am in a hurry, I just glare and drive straight through. I don’t honk oso give face oredi.

This year kicked off with a few people leaving the company. By the 1st quarter there will be another 2 veterans, the key people who helped kick start the company. We started with 16 of us and 5 years later, there are only 7 left.

I can’t help but look back at the time when the agency was at her teething stage. There were only a handful of us and we churned out so much work it’s blasphemous! Late nights would be accompanied by visits to the burger stall downstairs, peppered with lots of laughter. There were the usual grouses but none was taken to heart.

Today, the company has grown 3x her size and we’ve moved to a bigger, better building. It’s safe to say the pioneers still share a bond so tight we are categorised as ‘cliquish’. We welcome noobies with open arms but it’s a different thing when you’ve been through so much together for so long. Although we may not hang out together often but I guess there’s a certain level of trust among us that can’t be explained or extended that easily. There may be some isolated cases, but doesn’t happen all the time.

Anyways.

Here’s to all the veterans:

You know who you are, why you are leaving and where you are going. I wish I made an effort to get to know you better. Forgive this lazy and self-involved bum. All the very best in all that you do and take care!

I’ll be seeing you again!

From the bottom of my heart,
Bonnie.

Our local daily reported that in Penang, several people, children included, witnessed a puppy being grabbed by one leg and thrown across the floor to an accomplice who waited with a shotgun. The puppy was put in a plastic bag along with other dogs to be destroyed.

Strays have to be put down in the name of humanity. But obviously, the only ‘H’ word these executioners is being known for is a completely different one.

Ask me, ask me.

I have been patronising a beauty saloon for some years now. And believe me, at my age, skin care is an investment.

Needless to say, the marketing department have been coming up with endless new breakthroughs in facial care; anti-aging, anti-pigmentation, anti-blemish, anti-acne, de-stress, re-hydrate and not to mention some kinda laser light being projected onto your skin to trigger cell renewal. You name it, they’ve got it. But recently they’ve claimed the “1st in Malaysia 24K Gold Masque.”

Gold? You kidding me? Isn’t that toxic? Isn’t that kinda like some Malay kampung “susuk" hoodoo thingy? That’s where pontianaks come from right?

I digress... the original pontianak story involves a certain vain Malay woman who wanted to look beautiful. A bomoh advised her to put gold or precious stones beneath her facial skin. Like all fairy tales, he warned her that although she will look breathtaking, her beauty will fade if she ever looks into a mirror, and she will be hideous for all eternity. And guess what she did?

(of course, as with all myths, there are various versions)

Anyways.

The Cost:
Being a sucker for a good bargain, I was offered a special discount of RM100 per gold facial if I bring a friend along. Mind you, the original price is RM540 ok. And so we went, hand in hand with my friend Chris, with hopes of looking like the next Maya Karin, who incidentally, played the role of the pontianak in “Pontianak Sundal Malam.” Hehe.

The Task:
The facial started off like any other facial but with lots of fingertip massage and mist to ‘tenderise’ the skin. I think most of the mist went up my nostrils. Heh. Finally came the gold foil. It was laid most gently on my face in 4 main pieces. I was told not to move after the gold foil was applied but all I wanted to do was to scratch my nose, sneeze, cough and pee.

After letting the gold absorb for 20 mins, it was rubbed off. I could still see remnants of the gold on my nose, which gave me an impression that my skin could not absorb the gold the way a normal masque could be absorbed.

The Verdict:
1 1/2 hours later, neither of us could see any difference. Sure, we look fairer like we always do post facial.

The Reaction:
Clyde was having a good time laughing his ass off and asking if it would make any difference if I used a chocolate foil wrapper instead. Chris’ hubby, Lee was also having a good time with smart ass remarks. I dunno about Chris, but I always have a good time being pampered.

:P

Annie's coming back! Yay! After 10 years of eluding questions and confrontations, she finally ran out of excuses! My longest known school friend. my pal, my vessel. And just in time for my birthday too!

Can’t wait to see you again. :')

Well, things happen in the house. They always do.

From the smallest, totally insignificant stuff to....... er, we are talking about insignificant things.

Since you are reading this, and if you happen to be a man, especially somehow being crowned the "head" of the family, have you ever been ask, "What're ya going to do about this? You are the man of this house!"

Usually in a tone that's much louder than is to your comfort.

And obviously, this happen when that Man is not da Man of the house.

Well, either I am still NOT the man of the house or I'm lucky enough to have women in my house being extremely understanding.

I guess the latter one is true.

This kinda situation most likely will happen in a household where the wife and mother-in-law live under the same roof. Where the husband is force to take side, which being just and fair is no longer important.

A friend of mine came to see me this afternoon, spilling his story all over me, delaying all my schedule, and finish a whole 14 pack. I can't totally understand his feeling but I can imagine his pain. It really give me a shiver in the spine.

The story: The mother is 70, almost blind. Asking her daughter-in-law to bring her to see a doctor, in a not so polite manner (The second part is the wife version). Daughter in law refused because she's busy with housework, also with a bad tone (Mother in law version). So mother in law try to get outta house, somehow knock some dishes and all the mangkuk pinggang were broken falling onto floor at d same time cut the daughter in law foot. Daughter in law try to stop her, accidently push mother in law on ground. Mother in law got bone fracture.

"Can it get more dramatic?" He asked.

Honestly, that's actually 80% of me wanting to laugh out loud; yes, it's s-o drama. Obviously I didnt. Being polite I just continued to sit there and be a good listener.

However, I was pondering when I was driving home later: Since when men, at least in Malaysia, have come to such a stage? Man of the House.

Follow with a long sigh.

For once, I gotta commend Clyde on his choice of movies. Last Saturday we watched “300” on the big screen. Having seen the trailer on TV, the only thing I know about the movie is that a dirty-looking bearded bloke screams a a lot, the most impactful line being,”TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELLLLLLLLLL!!!”

"300" is based on a graphic novel about the Battle of Thermopylae. The story is about King Leonidas (screamer Gerard Butler) and his army of 300 beefy, bulky and buff Spartan hunk extremists who protect their kingdom of Sparta from the evil Persian king, Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), who also fancies himself a God. For the life of me, I’ve never seen so many nipples and durians (abs of steel) in one sitting. *burp*

Film director Zack Snyder's adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novel features a lot of blood spray, decapitated limbs and gruesome monsters, all done in good taste. Every frame in the movie is so well art-directed, choreographed and heavily-posted it puts LOTR to shame. Notice the “power window” effect on every eye ball? For some reason, I took a liking to Xerxes, with his dilated pupils and gay mofo poses.

Shot in 60 days and posted for a year, "300" is really sumtin' else. I hope this movie picks up something it so deserve at the next Oscars.


King Leonidas


The Immortals, who didn’t turn out to be so immortal


Spartans at war


Gay mojo, King Xerxes

Anna’s (our maid) lies, laziness and excuses got better of her when she tested Bonnie’s wrath:

Bonnie: Anna, kenapa laci putih yang saya suruh awak lap sebelum tahun baru masih belum bersih?
Anna: Saya pergi tengok.

2 days later...

Bonnie: Anna, kenapa laci putih yang saya suruh awak lap sebelum tahun baru masih belum bersih? Ada hitam-hitam lagi.
Anna: Saya guna sabun pun hitam-hitam tak boleh hilang!
Bonnie: Apsal tak boleh? Saya guna air liur pun boleh hilang! (earthquake rector scale - 2)
Anna: Nanti saya pergi tengok.

10 minutes later...

Anna: Mana hitam-hitam kak? *shrugs shoulders*
Bonnie: Sini lah... *upon checking underneath the Astro machine, all dust and marks were removed but the shelf was still wet*
Anna: *smug smile*
Bonnie: Away baru lap ya? Masih basah. (earthquake rector scale - 2.5)
Anna: Itu hari laci sudah lap, tapi saya tak lap Astro...
Bonnie: Kenapa tak lap sama-sama?
Anna: Sebab tak tau angkat...
Bonnie: Mesin DVD kat sebelah awak tau angkat dan lap tapi Astro awak tak tau? Sangat berat kah? (earthquake rector scale - 4)
Anna: Saya takut jatuh...
Bonnie: ?!! Satu tangan angkat, satu tangan lap. Susah sangat ke? (earthquake rector scale - 7)
Anna: SEKARANG SAYA TAU ANGKAT LAH! LAIN KALI SAYA LAP LAH!!!
Bonnie: AWAK BODOH KE ATAU MALAS? DULU SAYA TAK ERTI KENAPA MAMA HARI-HARI MARAH. SEKARANG SAYA TAU! CAKAP SUDAH BUAT, LEPAS TU CAKAP TAK BOLEH BUAT! SEKARANG CAKAP TAK TAU BUAT! (earthquake rector scale - 9)
Anna: Awak tak paham...
Bonnie: AWAK TAK BOSAN KE? KERJA SENANG MACAM INI PUN KENA SURUH 3 KALI! (earthquake rector scale - 12.5)

Although the PJ earthquake scored very high in the rector scale, there were no reports of casualties, only injured egos. End of report.

I believe evey chinese will get a bit crazy after CNY; whether it's bad or good.

Well at first, I got a whole string of not-so-positive post from Bonnie......

As for me, it's the usual swarm of work, not lying on top of my desk, but flyingtowards me, hitting hard on the face.

Also been making courtesy calls, visiting clients and spending hours talking craps that I have no interest at all with people.

Worse, I had to arrange many, many,many lunches and dinners.

I like to eat, chinese food and Yee Sang have been my favourates. But 9 lou sang sessions in 5 days? That's pushed my limit to a new high.

Everything has just seemed to be overdone.

Does it indicate that I have a good life? I guess so. At least I appreciate what I have.

Happy Post Chinese Year!