Bonnie & Clyde

There is no explaination for Kiasuism. Some people are just born with it. They want to be the 1st to watch the latest blockbuster movie and the 1st in line when the bank opens in the morning.

They also inch closer to you every time you move ahead in a queue. They stand so near that you are practically hip to hip. They probably think 'personal space' is a piece of land you can own in the Milky Way.

And I am not talking about some humsup dude with a penchant for middle-aged women. It's a gal. Malay. In tudung. 20 something. This happened on Saturday at the Guardian Warehouse Sale in Nanyang Siang Pau HQ.

It got so bad I had to put my gigantic RM200 bag worth of female products behind me to prevent her set of headlights from shinning in my backyard. Even then, she tried to step over so she can stand closer to me. I had to do the inevitable; turn around and stare her in the eye, which startled her and she took a respectful step back before I unleashed my fury at her. She's not so dim after all.

Not that I am homophobic.

But still.

Bonnie committed a cardinal sin.

I left for work this morning without applying moisturiser.

Ug.

DATE: 10 July 2006

TIME: 2am

VENUE: The boudoir of Bonnie & Clyde

ACTION: Nil. Got back from the office, showered and plonked myself in front of the telly at 3am. Understandably, Clyde was out with his bola kakis. Score was 1 - 1. Too tired to digest anymore, I hit the sack at 4am.

Clever boy, that Clyde.

Many say if a man suddenly treats a woman real nice, he must have done something wrong behind her.

It's not true. At least not for me.

When your partner is currently experiencing unreasonable long and irregular working hour (2am on monday morning. Anyone beats that?) while at the same time her time of the month, what can you, as a man, do?

Some flowers and a nice foot rub? How about that, Bonnie?

World Cup? No, no, it's not important to me at all........

:-)

P/s: Btw Congratulations, Azzuri! Yeah! Italy! Italy! Italy! Italy! Italy

DATE: 9 July 2006

TIME: 11.20pm

VENUE: The boudoir of Bonnie & Clyde

ACTION: Clyde will watch the WC finals in MUTE mode coz Bonnie will be snoozing away after working from Sunday 1pm - 11pm and still counting.

HYPOTHETICAL ACTION: If Clyde turns up the volume, Bonnie would be one very pissed mutha. Trust me, Bonnie is not nice:
1) When people disturbs her slumber
2) When she’s hungry
3) When people do not bother to respond to her questions / phonecalls / SMS / email
4) When the Wifi is not working
5) When she gets a bad hair cut
6) When it's her turn and the traffic lights changes to red
7) When she has to deal with morons with brocolli for brains
8) Generally when things don't go her way

Ya, ya. Bonnie's a monster. But you get the idea.

So watch this space tomorrow. ;-)

Superman stinks.

Literally.

Clyde and I slinked into our cinema seats at GSC Mid Valley yesterday afternoon to watch the much anticipated movie. I heard the new Clark Kent comes with a good package (‘package’ being the operative word here, heh); buns of steel, abs of iron, a pair of thick, black, bushy brows and not to mention he bears an uncanny resemblance to the late Christopher Reeve.

As soon as the commercials started, I caught a whiff of my neighbour's breath. Fuuuyoo...like rotten food. It didn't help that he burped and grunted throughout the entire movie. Clyde was having a ball looking at my pathetic attempts to fold a mask from tissues. Failing which, I just stuffed the whole lot up my nostrils.

What else could I do? You can't hold it against someone who has halitiosis. The only thing I tried to hold was my breath.

I thought the movie would never end. When the credits rolled and lights came on, Clyde whispered to me, “I think the stench came from your tapau-ed leftover lunch from Mr. Ho."

We checked and true enough, my lunch went basi inside the plastic bag.

Good thing I did not give Mr. Burp looks of flying dagger...malu sial.

Oh, Superman Returns did not move the earth for me coz I find the part he lifted up the entire island filled with Krytonite was a bit illogical. And I was disappointed Lois Lane wasn't single anymore. But overall, it was alright coz buns of steel can save my day, anyday.

I am a brittle person. Only takes very little to tweak my nerves.

It makes my blood boil when:

1) People don't answer my calls

2) People don't return my missed calls / voice messages

3) People don't reply my SMSes

4) People don't reply my emails

It's the same as unrequited love, not unlike the infamous phrase from the Jerry Mcguire song:

“If you don’t love her, you’ve gotta tell her!”

What's so difficult eh? Are you so busy / forgetful / spaz your dialling finger stopped functioning? Hey, nobody is perfect. I forget too, sometimes. But I make it a point to make up for it. Doesn't matter if it's 1 hour or 1 day late.

So reply, dammit.

For the life of me, I cannot fathom out why some people need to steal the thunder. Why do they need to take credit and claim everything as their own even when it's not.

Especially since you're already an international superstar.

Why stoop so low?

I recently have the (mis)fortune working with a reknowned celebrity. Although he is based in Taiwan, he has already made his mark in most Asian countries like HK, Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan and some say China. To be fair, he certainly is a talented fellow with looks to boot. One glance and the gals melt. Well, most of them anyway.

But not Bonnie.

When I 'met' him on the set for a shoot, he was aloof and I don't blame him because it must be really weird having all eyes on you like a freak and snapping your photographs without your consent all the time.

And so, I went to work.

My client, who was present, commented that surely I am not a fan because I was doing my job like a pro *ahaks* while the rest of the womenfolk was oggling and giggling. Strangely enough, the shoot wasn't painful although the Film Director was inexperienced. The primadonnaship only began AFTER.

As a starter, he announced to the Chinese daily that he did EVERYTHING. The everything bracket includes conceptualization, idea, film directing and set design. Then WTF were we there for? Sheesh.

And as for the post work, he was basically being a pain, being adamant about the edits, colours and sound effects. Hey, you may be the celebrity, but we are the pros when it comes to cutting a commercial. At least, we don't have personal hang ups about how our skin tone looks on screen or do shit like name-dropping all the friggin' time.

Dey, it's a brand ad wey. The client is paying you and me.

If you think you are too big a star to be ordered around, don't do ad endorsement la pun.