Bonnie & Clyde

Me, as always, feeling frisky after a good meal and bargain purchases, made a fool of myself in public.

I was with Clyde in a lift in Sg Wang. Neh, the only lift in the world with a floor-to-ceiling steel pole. Seeing we were alone, I demonstrated amateurish pole dancing moves when the lift doors opened suddenly. Eeeyer...malu sial! A couple walked in. I wasn’t quite sure if they caught a peep of me working the pole. Blushing like mad, I just looked downwards throughout the whole 3-floor journey.

Clyde was of course, tickled pink. He had the time of his life chuckling away at anything that makes me look like a fool.

Thanks, man. Now I know who to go to when I need some support and understanding.

Pbbbfffftttt...

*Bonnie makes a call*

Bonnie: Harlow? I got a missed call from this number. May I know who’s on the line?
Girl: Who is this?

Bonnie: This is Bonnie.
Girl: Bonnie who?

Bonnie: Bonnie xxx.
Girl: Bonnie xxx who?

*Bonnie prepares to hang up*

Girl: Hey, don’t hang up. It’s Angie.
Bonnie: Angie? Oh, hi! Long time no hear! It must have been, like 15 years! How are you?!

Angie: I am fine, thank you.
Bonnie: I heard you gave birth! Congrats!

Angie: I heard you did too!
Bonnie: Um, that wasn’t me.

Angie: No? So I heard you married Clyde. Wah...
Bonnie: Yes I did. You remember him?

Angie: Of course I do! So where are you working right now? I hear you fly overseas for work! You must be doing really well!
Bonnie: Well, just for this year. My office is at xxx. What about you?

Angie: I am semiretired.
Bonnie: Wow! That’s great! But what do you mean by ‘semi’ retired?

Angie: I am selling xxx unit trust. Have you heard about it?
Bonnie: *insurance/direct selling/unit trust radar flashing*

Angie: Would you be interested in listening to a talk on our Unit Trust product?
Bonnie: Erm, don’t think so.

Angie: Our plan gives you a 10% interest, and sometimes even 18%. It’s better than FD.
Bonnie: ...

Angie: Maybe we can yumcha one day and I’ll tell you all about it before you decide whether you wanna buy.
Bonnier: Yeah... I’ll call you. Bye.

She could have waited until her third courtesy call before pouncing on me like a hungry lion spotting an injured wild beast.

Beware when old friends come a-calling.

The little space above my left middle finger (it has to be the middle one lah LOL), near my left knuckle sits a wound that never heals. There is forever a show of raw flesh with a tinge of blood. I just realised how it got there.

Everyday when I get home, subconsciously I will stand on the same spot, in front of my mirrored vanity cabinet to strip. I always dig left palm first into my jeans pocket to take off my pants. Because of the angle I am rooted in, I always knock my left knuckle against the left side of the cabinet. And when I shower, the wounded spot will itch and I will pick the scab of dried blood few days later.

Now, it’s a permanent addition to my family of scars.

The people in my life are like that too.

They come, they leave a mark, and they do it over and over again because I let them. It’s always over the same issues and after that, I get upset with myself for allowing it to happen.

Again.

When will I ever learn to shift?

Just got an email from a friend who seems to have this pre-marriage panic attack. He ask me, "Why do you choose that you have chosen?"

Without thinking much I just type a reply: It's the ease she fits into my arms.

After sending it out, I started to ponder over what I had just writen. I must say that's such an answer with wisdom!

It's the wisdom of a lucky man.

And it really make my day.

Memory is the most amazing thing happens to me.

It's nothing, doesnt consist of any physical form, but it could do more blessing from a priest or more damage from a lion.

It's just something you, or maybe not you but your brain, decided to keep. Ocassionally swarm you with piles of emotions.

Sometimes it appears in a form of an angel, keeping you warm, making you feel safe, and putting you in laughters.
Sometimes it will just turn into a beast, giving a chill down your spine, pulling tears outta you, and consuming you to your soul.

However, sometimes it will just vanish, if not totally disappear, will play hide and seek with you. It will be like a lion lurking in the bushes; you never know when it will jump out.

Sometimes we claim we have thrown part of it away but what we didnt realise is we cannot throw any memory away. All we could do is to turn our back, refuse to stad face to face with it.

It's part of you, in the end of the day.

In fact, it's you.

Conversation #1:
Colleague: Bonnie, why are you checking out that girls’ ass?
Bonnie: I am not!
Colleague #1: Yes you are!
Bonnie: You are looking at my lazy eye, you silly @#$%*&!

Conversation #2:
Boss: ...blahblahblah...
Bonnie: ...
Boss: Why you look so muram?
Bonnie: That’s not a look, it’s my face! @#$%!!!

Date: 16 October 2006
Venue: Bonnie and Clyde's bedroom

0800 - Clyde's woke up the alarm clock. Get ready to work. Bonnie pulled up the blanket, covered her head.

1245 - Clyde's back. Bonnie remained her sleep.

1335 - Clyde got bored after walking here and there, waiting Bonnie to wake up for Bak Kut Teh, join Bonnie and started to snore.

1505 - Mom knocked on the door telling Bonnie and Clyde there're porridge and bee hon. Bonnie and Clyde woke up. Makan.

1600 - Bonnie watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" while Clyde started to snore with a full stomach.

1800 - Bonnie got tired watching tv. Despite that Clyde still snoring like a pig with his mouth opened, Bonnie join him.

2020 - Clyde woke up, blur but decided to do something instead of sleeping, he went out to rent some books.

2030 - Bonnie woke up. Go downstairs to have dinner. 5 minutes later, Clyde came back.

2300 - Both got up to bed and sleep.

**********************************************************************************

What a way to spend your weekend! Love you Bonnie for sharing my hobby!

It's, to the westerner, a bad, bad, bad-luck day.

There're many stories that almost everyone can tell each other about a day when he/she got so unlucky. Most of them could create some laugh when shared amongst friends.

Most of the unlucky stories are funny. But why?

It's because no matter how bad is it, when we can tell it to someone it means we have lived thru it. Isn't it something we should be happy about it?

And I'm going to tell you a story that I can challenge you to top it.

The worst is not experiencing something bad. The worst is experiencing something bad AFTER something real good happened before that.

*******************************************************

We werecelebrating a friend's birthday that day. After the dinner, while all of us walk pass a 4D shop, the birthday girl suggested all of us buy a lottery ticket and she will give us each a personal number as blessing. Normally I do not buy 4D or anything but since that a special occasion, I bought RM50 big and RM50 small of the number the birthday girl gave me. After that, I just put the ticket in my car's compartment along with all my parking receipt and didn't think about it.

Just two days later, while I was still sleeping, I got a call from this friend of mine early in the morning. She was laughing and screaming on the other side telling me that the number I bought on her birthday struck first prize.

I wasn't believing her but she insisted I check it out from the newspaper. I went downstairs and grab that day's morning paper. Surprise surprise, the number did appear as the first prize. Still thinking it would be too good to be true, I checked the company to see whether it's the same as the one I bought my ticket from.

Well well well, it's Sport TOTO! It means I have won RM50,000 plus!

I remebered I'd just chucked the ticket in my old Wira which I parked outside. Without wasting any time I rushed out of my condo unit on my undie thinking not many people would be in the parking lot during 6.15am on a Saturday morning. My car's just near the lift, I could just rush outta lift, unlock my car, get the ticket, and get back in. All shouldn't be more than a 30 second.

When the elevator door opened, while starting to rush out I pressed my remote control. I didn't hear the beeping sound of my car. I get to the parking lot, looked at my parking space and found that there's no car in it. "Did I accidently park my car elsewhere?" I looked around the parking lot, definitely I couldn't see my car anywhere nearby. I started to run around hoping I could find my car somewhere but, no luck.

So, confirmed that somebody have stolen my car. Not the car alone but with a lottery ticket worth RM50,000 in it!

I was totally blanked out until I heard someone calling me. There were a man, a woman, and 2 small kids, who seemed to be about to have some family together time on a Saturday morning.
I realised they have funny expression on their faces.

The police came later on that day which normally they don't for a lost car case. I dont know whether it is because the lost car contained a TOTO ticket worth RM50,000 or because they think a man standing in the middle of a parking lot, on a Saturday morning, stunt, and half naked with only his brief is highly inappropriate.

****************************************************************

I told this friend of mine to write to FHM True Story. He might get something outta it.

My paterfamilias, patriarch, progenitor, predecessor called me this morning.

Funny coz we never made an effort to communicate when we were living under the same roof since forever.

We avoided each other when we were in the same room.

We looked away when we ran out of social niceties.

He inflicted more pain on me than any man ever could.

He called to say his health is failing him, he’s on painkillers everyday and there’s no cure.

For the first time in his life he embraced weakness.

Failure.

The end.

But the gaffer won’t go without a bang.

He expressed his need to see me bear ‘fruits’ before meeting his maker.

He’s talking about offspring, next of kin, heir. And it’s not the first time. Usually these messages come in the form called ”mother says...”. He said this would make everybody very happy.

How could I not see this coming? A good strategist, my old man.

I don’t understand him, never have and never will. But what’s this I feel? A pang of sadness, a sense of longing to for his approval, a need to be part of his world.

This apple fell very far from the tree.

I gotta word this carefully otherwise I’ll get flamed.

Let’s face it. NYC is huge. They don’t call NY ‘The Big Apple’ for nothing. This is where things happen. People make it big here. This is a land filled with opportunities. All the glitz and glamour oozing out of every manhole. There’s no where else on earth like NYC.

Thank goodness for that.

If you look hard enough, there are always flaws to every beautiful painting and for a country, it’s the inhabitants that makes the picture complete.

It is true you can’t expect all of the people to be nice to you all of the time, but at least some of the people all of the time or all of the people some of the time, no? It is a different country with a different culture and I sense the different treatment given to me faster than you can say ‘racism’.

Incident #1:
The moment we arrived at Newark airport, we queued for a cab. There were 2 African Americans handling the ‘orders’ and we were the only Asians in line with a Caucasian guy right behind us. The AA’s carried the caucasian guy’s luggage into the taxi boot and we were left to fend for ourselves although (get this) we were first in line. Now howddaya like that?

Incident #2:
I ventured into a MAC cosmetic boutique at Soho. There were 2 sales persons at the lippy counter but both were too engrossed in an intense convo to service me. After waiting for a good few minutes, I rolled my eyes and started to walk off when one of them finally helped me with my purchase. I was led to the counter and paid the cashier, an AA gal. She gave me my change and promptly walked away. My lipstick sat on the counter, without a bag, a receipt OR a thank you. I just stood paralysed to the spot. I asked for a receipt if not a bag, but she just mumbled a lame ‘sorry’ and continued with whatever she was doing. Another girl came over and handed me my receipt. I have never, EVER been treated this way by a sales person, especially not when I’ve just purchased branded goods. MAC is a popular and reputable brand and I don’t expect champagne and roses but THIS?! Unbelievable. You can’t say the shop’s too upmarket for me because the sales people at Armani and DKNY were efficient and friendly. I certainly wasn’t wearing my Sunday best but I think I look decent. People who treat others according to what they wear are just SAD. If it's the colour of my skin then, well, nothing much can be done about it, is there?

There were incidents #3 and #4 but at this moment I feel too dispirited to go on about this.

I realised I mentioned the race of the people I thought who were racists, but it’s an interesting observation I think. Maybe the oppressed becomes the oppressor? Kinda like abused children who grow up to be abusers themselves. It takes a great deal to break the cycle, and it starts with us. If you’ve read my earlier post on UK, you will be glad to know I took my very first step to change within.

I am not perfect, but I am working on it. :)

Well, I hate to admit it but there is something I miss about NYC; the all-american breakfast. :P

Finally, this is what I flew halfway across the globe for. The reason why I tolerate jetlag. The result of all those late nights. The proof that blood sweat and tears can be good for you.

Although this award may not be the creme de la creme, it's still something I guess. And it's my first. :)


NYF The ceremony


The entertainment


The metal

Taming the beast

I was fortunate enough to catch Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast musical at Broadway. It was 715pm and the show started at 8pm. We were lucky to grab the last-minute-leftover-not-so-nice seats. But at USD58 a pop, you can't expect much.

The main attraction of the musical was Donny Osmond of Donny and Marie Osmond fame, poster boy of the early 80's. With his still chiselled features and pearly whites, Donny played the part of bad guy Gaston. I thought he was both convincing and funny. Plus, the guy can still sing.

Pop prince Usher was also playing a part in Chicago The Musical but not surprisingly, the tickets were all sold out so I missed that.

And also, my moolah was running low. So much for budget. Bleh.

Broadway: Where our hotel was located


One of the many Broadway theater attractions: Late Night With David Letterman


NYC crash course


Horse rides in Central Park, just like momma promised


Times Square


Power building


The mother of all Apple stores


Colombus Circle: Shopping haven for the very rich


Breathtaking view from the Empire State building


Grills surrounding the building

Traffic stopper


Up close and personal

I expected her to be taller and bigger like in the movies but she turned out to be more petite and dainty in size.

But she's breathtaking all the same.

Backtrack Date: Sunday, 24 September 2006
Backtrack Time: 5.30am

I made it to NYC!

This place is huge. It's how I imagined it to be, but this is not how I imagined I would feel.

It's my 3rd day here and I am oh-so-lonely.

Wish Clyde was with me.

Wish I was home.